Math Can Be a Pain in the Asymptote

If there's a fat guy in a pastry shop
With a hundred dollars and he's ready to buy
In order to predict his volume change
You need to know the value of pi

And there's a metal train that's a mile long
And at the back end a lightning bolt struck her,
How long till it reaches and shocks the driver
Provided that he's a good conductor

And if I want to talk to a girl
I just gotta steel my nerves
"I want to be your derivative
so I can be tangent to your curves"

And how do you tell the sex
Of your little pride and joy?
Well, if it's got domain range
Then you've got yourself a boy

Cause bananas are like quadratic expansion
If it can't be split then it's time to stop,
And cheerleader pyramids are just like fractions
It's improper for the largest one to be on top

And sleeping is just like math homework
In that I do it best lying in my bed
And squaring numbers is like dating women
If they're under thirteen, then keep it in your head

If there's a war against Math and English
Then General Calculus will lead us through
And if you're a one in a million guy
Then how many Indians are just like you?

Math and alcohol never mix
So remember not to drink and derive
Or else on the AP Test
You won't get that five

If you don't pay attention
Math's a pain in the asymptote
I never did learn why
The Stupid Genius is on that boat


E^X is the biggest loner there is
He's set apart from every group
No matter how hard he tries to integrate himself
It just makes no difference


If you don't pay attention
Math's a pain in the asymptote
I do wonder if Mark ever
Learned how to draw a goat